Dark brown eyes with a hair colour that matches,
Chocolate brown skin, tampered with a few dark patches.
Skinny but healthy is my desired destination,
Chubby and grateful is my current position.
Sometimes with a velvety baritone I awake to the morning sun,
Other times, like soothing sweet waters, my sound brings fun.
I walk with shoulders square and a defying boldness with every step
Even when I was anxious, you could never tell the difference.
It was not always about absolute confidence,
Just a mastery of the art of undetectable pretense.
To who?… Why?… For how long?…
Questions locked up in surreal serenity for so many-a-days
But now to be splattered in several ways.
I have become “THIS”!
Your words and actions of yesterday birthed my today
For the fear of your rejection, I denounced everything of immense value,
Fleeing the piercing wrath of your venomous tongue, I stood for nothing,
Yet, over my loyalty, you cast your slimy spittle,
And shredded my trust in the bin of your own delusions.
Your misguided insensitivity was but a decoy to cover your leprous complexities,
A stench that kept you locked up in the dungeon of your own insecurities.
In blind support for your callousness, I lost friends… family… trusted allies…
To all, I gave no care, until I awoke to the rude shock
That I had also lost ME.
But oh how that reality liberated me!
I once was lost, but now I am FOUND,
Once blind, but now I SEE!
This illumination revives inexplicable hope.
Though the uncertainties of tomorrow still make me shudder,
Staying fixed on “here” may never get me “there”
The place that I desire
Could be good… could be better…
But what does it really matter?
I rather live standing in HOPE, than dying utmost shame.
I rather die believing in SOMETHING, than live standing for nothing.
So from here on, I decide to take over the wheels and seat of my own life’s automobile.
I take charge of the control-room of my mind.
I dictate my narrative and redefine my future.
I know who I am, and I embrace it!
I anticipate who I am becoming and I commit to IT
I work at IT, And I will Never Give Up On IT
UNTIL I WIN!