My Little Superhero: A Mother’s Journey of Rediscovery

Conversations with children can be unexpectedly profound, revealing not just their dreams but also, our fears and hopes as parents. A few months ago, when my 6 going on 7–year–old was just a little over 5, I engaged the young lad in a conversation that I expected would leave me excited. At the end of it, I was left deeply pensive. Here’s a bit of a back story.

 

From age 3, my older son had displayed signs of his inborn talent and likely inclination – art, architecture, engineering and their not-too-distant relatives – animation, etc. which I realised from his love and unbelievable giftedness in drawing, colouring and building things. By age 7, he told me categorically –

 

“Mommy, when I grow up, I want to become an Architect and an Engineer!”

 

“Woo hoooo!!! Slow down, boy! Those are two separate TOUGH professions. You will have to choose one!”

 

But he insisted, emphasising that he wanted to design and build structures. Over the years, he has grown to be a genius in art and 3D animation. While my older son has a clear vision, his baby brother’s journey has been more uncertain.

 

So, on this fateful day, I asked the baby brother, “What would you like to be when you grow up?” His response left me puzzled.

 

“I don’t know.” He retorted nonchalantly. But of course, I would press further. What does he mean by “he doesn’t know”? Didn’t his older brother “know” at just age 3 and is currently honing that skill? He’s already 5 and doesn’t know. He’s got to be kidding with me. So, I rephrased the question, assuming that, probably, his mind was too young to understand the context of the discussion.

 

“You know your brother likes to draw, right? And he is already a great artist for his age.”

 

“Yes, I know he likes to draw!” he responded carelessly.

 

“Ok, what about you? What do you R-E-A-L-L-Y like to do that you will continue to do in the future?

 

Enthusiastically, with bright eyes and a slightly high-pitched voice, he responded: “Well… I really like to watch TV!”.

 

You bet I was not having any of this. “WHAAAT!?!?” I pressed forward to be sure of what I just heard.

 

“I like to watch TV. I love cartoons.”

 

“Jerm-Jerm, nobody watches TV for a living, darling. How will you take care of yourself and your family when you grow up to become a man like Daddy if you are going to watch TV all day? Mommy and Daddy will not always be there.” And then he dropped what I considered the worst of it yet.

 

“That’s why I don’t ever want to become an adult.”

“Taarrhh! GOD FORBID IT!”

 

Argh! My heart sank. My head raced in sprints around the world and back. “Don’t say that! You can’t be a baby forever. You’re supposed to grow up!”

 

“But I won’t know what to do!” he added this time, with a low tone and some sadness in his voice.

 

“You will darling. That’s why mommy and daddy are sending you to school to learn all that you will require to become a better adult. You just need to put your heart into anything you want to do. No one knows it all at first, not even I nor Daddy. We were once children like you too but we learn as we commit our hearts to do whatever will help us to become what we desire for ourselves.”

 

“Ok.” he sounded unconvinced. So, I hugged him tightly and dropped the subject for that day.

 

A few days later, the young lad ran to me with unbelievable excitement.

 

“Mommy I know what I want to be when I grow up!” My eyes lit up like the midday sun.

 

“Tell me, Sweetie!”

 

“I want to become a Superhero!”

 

He said W-H-A-A-A-T?!?!? Whatever is that?!?! My thoughts were racing in utter bewilderment. But I had to contain it so as not to frighten the young lad. Surely, kids will teach you a whole new level of emotional intelligence.

 

“Hahaha! Superheroes are not real darling! They don’t exist, I have told you that before!”

 

“Yes, Jerm, superheroes are not real!” his big brother buttressed.

 

“But I want to be like Hulk!” (his favourite Marvel character).

 

“Ah! Mogbe!” was all I could instantly utter, an exclamation that means “I’m in trouble!” in the Yoruba language. “Superheroes are not real ooooo! Being a superhero is not a job.” Well, I asked, he discovered and responded. Period! The rest was my cup of tea.

 

How do I manage this? What do I do? How do I get this little boy to take a leaf from his big brother?

 

A few weeks later, he came back to me with another shocker. This time, he said

 

“Mommy, I want to be a Firefighter!”

 

L’ori iro! (What a lie!) This boy is trying me. “Really? Firefighter? Why a Firefighter?”

 

Arééé!!! (a Yoruba exclamation) Ni inu Nigeria yi sha? Ko si omi o! (meaning “In this Nigeria? There is no water!”) Is this young man playing with me? I won’t even indulge him by having this conversation.

 

Not long after again, it was going to be Career Day in their School. As soon as his teacher mentioned it to me, I immediately resolved that there would be no more foreign cartoon-inspired superhero outfits. He will wear fila and agbada (a Yoruba-inspired outfit) and be an indigenous hero.

 

“Mommy, our teacher said we should wear a costume for our career day. I want a Firefighter costume!”

 

Now I must get to the root of this shenanigan. No more kisses, tight hugs and adjournments. I have observed over time that this young lad is quite an old soul at heart. So, let’s talk it out, man to woman.

 

“Ok Jerm-Jerm, why do you R-E-A-L-L-Y want to be a firefighter?” I was not ready for his response.

 

“Because I want to save people’s lives.”

 

Wooooah! My heart melted like a young damsel swept off her feet by her prince charming. I told you he was an old soul. His words were believable and something to begin working with. I got him the costume and helped him fine-tune his lines for his presentation which he had drafted himself. Here’s what he presented –

 

“Good day everyone. My name is Jermahl Kadiri. I am 5 years old. When I grow up, I will like to be a firefighter, to take out wildfires and save people’s lives, and teach them how to be safe. Do you know how to be safe? Come, let Captain Jermahl show you!”

 

THAT’S MY SUPERHERO THERE!!! CAPTAIN JERM-JERM TO THE RESCUE!!!

 

Proud Mom moment it was for me! I decided from that instant I would support his choice. Then I posted a video of his presentation on a social media platform. Unfortunately, it was met with a strict rebuff.

 

“That’s not a good profession! Stop him from saying it now and redirect his words before it becomes too ingrained for him to change it.”

 

My response was an unflinching “NO!” If at age 5 he is already concerned about saving people’s lives, what could be a more laudable cause to live for?

 

Over the next few months, I saw my young man show concern for and participate in a mock firefighter drill, first aid and hospital care. And he affirmed again “When I grow up, I want to help people and save lives”. Could this be a budding Paramedic, Medical Doctor, Army General or any of their relations? Could his GENIUS actually be a “SUPERHERO”? Only time will tell. All I can do now is provide or create enabling environments that will help increase his awareness of self and society.

 

This revelation made me reflect deeply as I saw myself in his uncertainty, having once buried my dreams due to family expectations. At his age, I just wanted to sing. By my mid-teenage years, I wanted to sing, dance and act on big stages. I was a genius at them! But the declaration of my intent brought down a storm. Eventually, I was redirected by loving caregivers who really did mean well from their level of awareness, but inadvertently led me to bury my dreams and focus on what would be more lucrative for my upkeep and prestigious in society.

 

 

I progressed through life engaging as a muffled representation of myself until I eventually came around a few full circles and found the courage to embrace my genius unashamedly and affirm that  “THIS IS ME!”

 

 

Ultimately, we must not only support our children’s dreams but, also revisit and support ours.

Is this a similar situation for you? What steps will you take today to unearth your buried potential?

 

Are you operating with your innate genius? If your answer is an emphatic “NO!”, then, WHERE DID YOU BURY IT?

It is time to Unveil it, Refine it and RELAUNCH IT! It’s time to SELF-REENGINEER and the SPOT-ME instructional audio is a great place to start.

Cheers,

StephREDD